Frases de Daniel Handler página 3

“Y mi paraguas, lo extravié aquel día, ¿dónde está? Sé que lo llevaba por la mañana. Si lo tienes tú, Ed, devuélvemelo, porque me siento perdida sin él en los días lluviosos, aunque ahora estamos en diciembre, así que toca nieve, eso dicen, y un paraguas en una tormenta de nieve es ridículo, como un cinturón de seguridad si no estás en un coche, o un casco si no vas en bicicleta. Lo necesito igual que un pez, una bicicleta o comoquiera que sea el dicho, igual que el café tiene que tomarse solo, igual que a una virgen le hace falta un novio. Hay tantas cosas que nunca recuperaré…”

Why We Broke Up
Variante: Lo que sucede con los deseos del corazón es que tu corazón ni siquiera sabe lo que desea hasta que lo tiene delante.

“No soy una enamorada, soy una tonta”

Why We Broke Up

“No soy diferente, en absoluto, no soy distinta a otra mota cualquiera. Soy una imperfección imperfecta, una ruina ruinosa, unos restos manchados y tan destrozados que soy incapaz de descubrir lo que era antes.
No soy nada, nada de nada”

Why We Broke Up

“¿No lo sabes…? Pero acabas… acabas de gastarte cincuenta y cinco dólares en este libro.
—Lo sé —respondiste—. No pasa nada.
—Pero ¿no sabes por qué?
—Para hacerte feliz —fue lo único que dijiste, y de repente, Ed, tus palabras me dejaron sin respiración.”

Why We Broke Up

“Te ofrecí una aventura, Ed, justo delante de ti, pero tu no fuiste capaz de verla hasta que yo te la mostré, y por eso rompimos”

Y por eso rompimos

“… Ni siquiera lo había estado buscando, no a ti, y ahora eras lo que mi corazón deseaba.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

Frases sobre el corazón de Daniel Handler

“Si existe alguna película que, con elegancia e imaginación, profundice en las violentas y delicadas verdades sobre el corazón humano, este humilde crítico aún no la ha descubierto.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

“Descubrí el reverso de la servilleta demasiado tarde, no cuando llegué a casa, ni cuando la guardé en la caja, sino cuando tenía el corazón destrozado y lloroso, cuando ya no era cierto.”

Why We Broke Up

“Voy a tirar la caja entera de nuevo en tu vida, Ed, cada objeto tuyo y mío. Voy a tirarla en tu porche, Ed, aunque es a ti a quien estoy tirando.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

Frases de vida de Daniel Handler

“Qué absolutamente erróneo es pensar que es de otra forma, que una caja de basura es un tesoro, que un chico que sonríe es sincero, que un momento agradable es una vida mejor.”

Why We Broke Up

“Te quise y ahora te devuelvo tus cosas, las saco de mi vida como a ti…”

Why We Broke Up

“Que si está bien no ser virgen, sí. La mayoría de la gente no lo es, Min. Para empezar, por eso existe la gente.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

Daniel Handler Frases y Citas

“Yo me voy con Jordan —dijo Lauren tomando la mitad del taco—. Prefiero no interferir en el festival de tensión sexual que Min y tú estáis disfrutando esta mañana.
—Todas las mañanas —corrigió Jordan.
—Para ti todo es consecuencia de la tensión sexual porque tus padres son el señor y la señora Supercristianos —le dije a Lauren—. Nosotros, los judíos, sabemos que las tensiones subyacentes se deben siempre a un nivel bajo de azúcar en la sangre.
—Sí, bueno, vosotros matasteis a mi Salvador — añadió Lauren, y Jordan se despidió con la mano—. No permitamos que ocurra de nuevo.”

Why We Broke Up

“¿Einstein es homosexual?
- tenía pelo de marica”

Why We Broke Up

“Afernadome a un chico que todo el mundo sabe que es un tarado, un bastardo, un imbecil y un cabron”

Why We Broke Up

“Te devuelvo la sonrisa y aquella noche, te lo devuelvo todo. Ojalá pudiera.”

Why We Broke Up

“Ed, así éramos nosotros, Al y yo. Nunca lo entendiste y yo nunca te conté realmente cómo funcionaba. La madre de Al nos comparó una vez con un viejo matrimonio y se rió cuando Al dijo:"Bueno, mamma, tú debes de saberlo".”

Why We Broke Up

“Tartamudear contigo o incluso dejar de tartamudear y no decir nada era tan hermoso y dulce, mejor que hablar a mil por hora con cualquiera.”

Why We Broke Up

“Te voy a explicar por qué rompimos, Ed. Te voy a contar en esta carta toda la verdad de por qué sucedió. Y la maldita verdad es que te quise demasiado.”

Why We Broke Up

“Y comencé a hacer planes, pensando que llegaríamos tan lejos.”

Why We Broke Up

“Cualquiera que conociese a Violet se hubiera dado cuenta de que estaba pensando intensamente, porque llevaba la larga melena recogida con una cinta para que no se le metiera en los ojos. Violet tenía el don de inventar y construir extraños aparatos, y su cerebro se veía inundado a menudo con imágenes de poleas, palancas y herramientas, y ella no quería que algo tan trivial como su cabello la distrajese.“ —”

Daniel Handler libro Una serie de eventos desafortunados.

“Es inútil que os describa lo mal que se sintieron Violet, Klaus y Sunny el tiempo que siguió. Si habéis perdido a alguien muy importante para vosotros, ya sabéis lo que se siente; y, si nunca habéis perdido nadie, no os lo podéis imaginar.”

Daniel Handler libro Una serie de eventos desafortunados.

Daniel Handler: Frases en inglés

“This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.”

“Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Fuente: Adverbs

“People aren't either wicked or noble," the hook-handed man said. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

Daniel Handler libro The Grim Grotto

Count Olaf
The Grim Grotto (2004)

“For Beatrice--I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.”

Daniel Handler libro The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“All love gets over, and we must get over it.”

Daniel Handler libro The Wide Window

Lemony Snicket
The Wide Window (2000)

“In this large and fierce world of ours, there are many, many unpleasant places to be. You can be in a river swarming with angry electric eels, or in a supermarket filled with vicious long-distance runners. You can be in a hotel that has no room service, or you can be lost in a forest that is slowly filling up with water. You can be in a hornet's nest or in an abandoned airport or the office of a pediatric surgeon, but one of the most unpleasant things that can happen is to find yourself in a quandary.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“"Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too.”

Daniel Handler libro The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“If you are like most people, you have an assortment of friends and family you can call upon in times of trouble. For instance, if you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a masked woman trying to crawl through your bedroom window, you might call your mother or father to help you push her back out. If you found yourself hopelessly lost in the middle of a strange city, you might ask the police to give you a ride home. And if you were an author locked in an Italian restaurant that was slowly filling up with water, you might call upon your acquaintances in the locksmith, pasta, and sponge businesses to come and rescue you.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“What can be hidden in a book?”

Daniel Handler libro The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.”

Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had in front of you, but you would not be using the expression in the same way I am about to use it now. Although 'a mixed bag' sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often, it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An afternoon movie theater, for example, would be a mixed bag if your favorite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful, but all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose.”

Daniel Handler libro The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“Mike could see the fellow cooked and ate and sat on a sofa and put his feet up on the table it magazines. Mike didn't care which ones the fellow subscribed to, because Mike had subscribed to the fellow.”

Daniel Handler libro The Ersatz Elevator

Lemony Snicket
The Ersatz Elevator (2001)

“Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make--bombs for instance, or strawberry shortcake--if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it has floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively

“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and would never hurt a soul. Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but a fear of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtors, as I'm sure you know, are people who assist in the buying and selling of houses. Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler libro The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“Never mind what you were doing, Olaf said. You're fired!
You can't fire me! Esme growled. I quit!
Well, you can leave by mutual agreement, Olaf grumbled and then with another succinct Ha! he lifted the harpoon gun and pointed it at Dewey Denouement.”

Daniel Handler libro The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.”

Daniel Handler libro The Penultimate Peril

The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“Why do so many things end in fire?”

Daniel Handler libro The Beatrice Letters

The Beatrice Letters (2006)

“Standing ten feet away from Lila was sort of kickass with her nails drumming on the box with the slot in, where we put everything that we rip in half, and with her blue-eyed beauty and with the gum she was chewing and how lovely she was, in that way that makes you want to find something else lovely just so you can give it to her and see how really kickass it is to have to lovely things next to each other.”

Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“When you traveling by bus, it is always difficult to decide whether you should sit in a seat by the window, a seat on the aisle, or a seat in the middle. If you take an aisle seat, you have the advantage of being able to stretch your legs whenever you like, but you have the disadvantage of people walking by you, and they can accidentally step on your toes or spill something on your clothing. If you take a window seat, you have the advantage of getting a clear view of the scenery, but you have the disadvantage of watching insects die was they hit the glass. If you take the middle seat, you have neither of these advantages, and you have the added disadvantage of people leaning all over you when they fall asleep. You can see at once why you should always hire a limousine or rent a mule rather than take the bus to your destination.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Obviously

“My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous, and that the best we could do was one small noble thing.”

Daniel Handler libro The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“It was the sort of day when people walk in the park and solve problems. "We'll simply call the taxi company, David, and request a large one, like one of those vans." Is the sort of thing you would overhear if you were overhearing in the park.”

Daniel Handler libro The Grim Grotto

Fiona
The Grim Grotto (2004)

“"I know" Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Naturally

“One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Not Particularly

“I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.”

Daniel Handler libro The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“She said, "We're detectives" in the tone of voice that someone might say, "Making you happy isn't making me happy"”

Daniel Handler libro The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“To Beatrice--My love flew like a butterfly, Until death swooped down like a bat, As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said: That's the end of that.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Judgmentally

“A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes.”

Daniel Handler libro The Miserable Mill

-Lemony Snicket
The Miserable Mill (2000)

“This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.”

Daniel Handler libro The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively