Frases de Daniel Handler página 6

“Y mi paraguas, lo extravié aquel día, ¿dónde está? Sé que lo llevaba por la mañana. Si lo tienes tú, Ed, devuélvemelo, porque me siento perdida sin él en los días lluviosos, aunque ahora estamos en diciembre, así que toca nieve, eso dicen, y un paraguas en una tormenta de nieve es ridículo, como un cinturón de seguridad si no estás en un coche, o un casco si no vas en bicicleta. Lo necesito igual que un pez, una bicicleta o comoquiera que sea el dicho, igual que el café tiene que tomarse solo, igual que a una virgen le hace falta un novio. Hay tantas cosas que nunca recuperaré…”

Why We Broke Up
Variante: Lo que sucede con los deseos del corazón es que tu corazón ni siquiera sabe lo que desea hasta que lo tiene delante.

“No soy una enamorada, soy una tonta”

Why We Broke Up

“No soy diferente, en absoluto, no soy distinta a otra mota cualquiera. Soy una imperfección imperfecta, una ruina ruinosa, unos restos manchados y tan destrozados que soy incapaz de descubrir lo que era antes.
No soy nada, nada de nada”

Why We Broke Up

“¿No lo sabes…? Pero acabas… acabas de gastarte cincuenta y cinco dólares en este libro.
—Lo sé —respondiste—. No pasa nada.
—Pero ¿no sabes por qué?
—Para hacerte feliz —fue lo único que dijiste, y de repente, Ed, tus palabras me dejaron sin respiración.”

Why We Broke Up

“Te ofrecí una aventura, Ed, justo delante de ti, pero tu no fuiste capaz de verla hasta que yo te la mostré, y por eso rompimos”

Y por eso rompimos

“… Ni siquiera lo había estado buscando, no a ti, y ahora eras lo que mi corazón deseaba.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

Frases sobre el corazón de Daniel Handler

“Si existe alguna película que, con elegancia e imaginación, profundice en las violentas y delicadas verdades sobre el corazón humano, este humilde crítico aún no la ha descubierto.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

“Descubrí el reverso de la servilleta demasiado tarde, no cuando llegué a casa, ni cuando la guardé en la caja, sino cuando tenía el corazón destrozado y lloroso, cuando ya no era cierto.”

Why We Broke Up

“Voy a tirar la caja entera de nuevo en tu vida, Ed, cada objeto tuyo y mío. Voy a tirarla en tu porche, Ed, aunque es a ti a quien estoy tirando.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

Frases de vida de Daniel Handler

“Qué absolutamente erróneo es pensar que es de otra forma, que una caja de basura es un tesoro, que un chico que sonríe es sincero, que un momento agradable es una vida mejor.”

Why We Broke Up

“Te quise y ahora te devuelvo tus cosas, las saco de mi vida como a ti…”

Why We Broke Up

“Que si está bien no ser virgen, sí. La mayoría de la gente no lo es, Min. Para empezar, por eso existe la gente.”

Y por eso rompimos - Episodio 1

Daniel Handler Frases y Citas

“Yo me voy con Jordan —dijo Lauren tomando la mitad del taco—. Prefiero no interferir en el festival de tensión sexual que Min y tú estáis disfrutando esta mañana.
—Todas las mañanas —corrigió Jordan.
—Para ti todo es consecuencia de la tensión sexual porque tus padres son el señor y la señora Supercristianos —le dije a Lauren—. Nosotros, los judíos, sabemos que las tensiones subyacentes se deben siempre a un nivel bajo de azúcar en la sangre.
—Sí, bueno, vosotros matasteis a mi Salvador — añadió Lauren, y Jordan se despidió con la mano—. No permitamos que ocurra de nuevo.”

Why We Broke Up

“¿Einstein es homosexual?
- tenía pelo de marica”

Why We Broke Up

“Afernadome a un chico que todo el mundo sabe que es un tarado, un bastardo, un imbecil y un cabron”

Why We Broke Up

“Te devuelvo la sonrisa y aquella noche, te lo devuelvo todo. Ojalá pudiera.”

Why We Broke Up

“Ed, así éramos nosotros, Al y yo. Nunca lo entendiste y yo nunca te conté realmente cómo funcionaba. La madre de Al nos comparó una vez con un viejo matrimonio y se rió cuando Al dijo:"Bueno, mamma, tú debes de saberlo".”

Why We Broke Up

“Tartamudear contigo o incluso dejar de tartamudear y no decir nada era tan hermoso y dulce, mejor que hablar a mil por hora con cualquiera.”

Why We Broke Up

“Te voy a explicar por qué rompimos, Ed. Te voy a contar en esta carta toda la verdad de por qué sucedió. Y la maldita verdad es que te quise demasiado.”

Why We Broke Up

“Y comencé a hacer planes, pensando que llegaríamos tan lejos.”

Why We Broke Up

“Cualquiera que conociese a Violet se hubiera dado cuenta de que estaba pensando intensamente, porque llevaba la larga melena recogida con una cinta para que no se le metiera en los ojos. Violet tenía el don de inventar y construir extraños aparatos, y su cerebro se veía inundado a menudo con imágenes de poleas, palancas y herramientas, y ella no quería que algo tan trivial como su cabello la distrajese.“ —”

Daniel Handler libro Una serie de eventos desafortunados.

“Es inútil que os describa lo mal que se sintieron Violet, Klaus y Sunny el tiempo que siguió. Si habéis perdido a alguien muy importante para vosotros, ya sabéis lo que se siente; y, si nunca habéis perdido nadie, no os lo podéis imaginar.”

Daniel Handler libro Una serie de eventos desafortunados.

Daniel Handler: Frases en inglés

“They are all one, the mothers of us all, like the money you spent. Imagine the vanish of weight if the advice of your mother never existed. They tell us things, unless we have no mothers and either way things turn out such that nothing you've ever heard is ever any help.”

“The story of the Baudelaires does not take place in a fictional land where lollipops grow on trees and singing mice do all of the chores. The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the sinister mystery that surrounds them….”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Not Particularly

“For Beatrice--You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler libro The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“He bought a bird in its own cage, with a sheet over it so no one could see the bird and the bird couldn't see anyone, and the whole thing was a secret bird… Everything he said was tinged with the unreadability of someone who would bring a bird on cruise ship.”

Daniel Handler libro The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“The expression "Making a mountain out of a molehill" simply means making a big deal out of something that is actually a small deal, and it is easy to see how this expression came about. Molehills are simply mounds of earth serving as condominiums for moles, and they have never caused anyone harm except for maybe a stubbed toe if you were walking around the wilderness without any shoes on. Mountains, however, are very large mounds of earth and are constantly causing problems. They are very tall, and when people try to climb them they often fall off, or get lost and die of starvation. Sometimes, two countries fight over who really owns a mountain, and thousands of people have to go to war and come home grumpy or wounded. And, of course, mountains serve as homes to mountain goats and mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children. So when someone is making a mountain out of a molehill, they are pretending that something is as horrible as a war or a ruined picnic when it is really only as horrible as a stubbed toe.”

Daniel Handler libro The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“Keith has one of those all terrain things that will come in so handy when the world ends and we need a nine-thousand -cylinder engine to drive over those hordes of blood-thirsty mutants crawling all over the video-game landscape.”

Daniel Handler libro The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“I'm frightened by your behaviour. I woke up this morning and you said good morning and i said good morning, what do you feel like doing today, and you said well i sort of have to do this thing, and i said what thing and you said go to the reading of my father's will, and I said what are you talking about and then you told me that your dad had died. THIS MORNING.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Obviously

“Dear Joe The letter said The windows rattle without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wild scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep on doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Immediately

“What a bad day it was, the clouds were low and cloudy, the rain no fun, and the dark as it hit the late afternoon thick like someone who stops by your place and just won't leave. The day was canceled, almost, on account of the rain spilling itself over everything.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Naturally

“With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last they found a safe place to lay it down.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“"Help me," Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.”

Daniel Handler libro The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“The last safe place is safe no more.”

Daniel Handler libro The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“There are many things in this world I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is much tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult to breathe, or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all of the houses look alike.”

Daniel Handler libro The Penultimate Peril

Sunny
The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“Lemony Snicket: (narrating) But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”

Daniel Handler libro The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“The rain, the rain, the rain. You can't even hear it outside the window but still it's a sad thing. Rain, the grade school teachers say, makes the trees and flowers grow, but we're not trees and flower, and so many grade school teachers are single.”

Daniel Handler libro The Penultimate Peril

The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with "Once upon a time," and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase "happily ever after."”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table.”

Daniel Handler libro The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture.”

Daniel Handler libro The Beatrice Letters

The Beatrice Letters (2006)

“Money money money money money money money money money. Let no one say it has no place in a love story. It has a particular place. It is something on the right shelf.”

Daniel Handler libro The Beatrice Letters

The Beatrice Letters (2006)

“Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Arguably

“I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — Waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Clearly

“Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket”

Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“Violet said…"We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred.”

Daniel Handler libro The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.”

Daniel Handler libro The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler libro The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said.”

Daniel Handler libro The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me.”

Daniel Handler libro The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M.”

Daniel Handler libro Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively