Frases de C. Terry Warner

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C. Terry Warner

C. Terry Warner es escritor estadounidense.

Frases C. Terry Warner

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C. Terry Warner4

escritor estadounidense

„Vivimos en una sociedad obsesionada con la conciencia de uno mismo, la autoestima, el placer y otras maneras de centrarse en el individuo.“Ataduras que liberan

C. Terry Warner4

escritor estadounidense

„Vivir en una caja implica estar convencido de que son las demás personas y las circunstancias las responsables de nuestros sentimientos y de nuestra incapacidad para superarlos.“Ataduras que liberan

C. Terry Warner4

escritor estadounidense

„La autotraición se produce cuando actuamos en contra de esos sentimientos que acabamos de describir, cuando hacemos a los demás lo contrario de lo que sentimos que debemos hacer o cuando no hacemos lo que sentimos que debemos hacer.“Ataduras que liberan

C. Terry Warner4

escritor estadounidense

„No se puede hallar una justificación para no hacer el bien a los demás a menos que encontremos, o inventemos, alguna razón por la que se lo merecen (un defecto o una característica despreciable que nos obligue a ignorarlos, corregirlos, humillarlos o castigarlos).“Ataduras que liberan

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Except in a very few matches, usually with world-class performers, there is a point in every match (and in some cases it's right at the beginning) when the loser decides he's going to lose. And after that, everything he does will be aimed at providing an explanation of why he will have lost. He may throw himself at the ball (so he will be able to say he's done his best against a superior opponent). He may dispute calls (so he will be able to say he's been robbed). He may swear at himself and throw his racket (so he can say it was apparent all along he wasn't in top form). His energies go not into winning but into producing an explanation, an excuse, a justification for losing.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Some things are only real because they represent what we think. When we learn the truth and think it, the old reality is no longer real to us and loses its hold on us. The truth sets us free.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Did I love what I was doing, or did I love myself in doing it?“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„It takes real feelings to create the illusion that others have power to offend and anger us.
Projecting such interpretations upon everything around us is in many ways like living in a box of our own making... you might think of these walls as a falsification of reality-- a distorted way of seeing, feeling, and thinking about other people that makes them seem offensive or malicious or otherwise untrustworthy. Remember, the people are really there, but we all ourselves off from the truth about them by the false way we picture them...
Living in a box means being convinced that other people and our circumstances are responsible for our feelings and our helplessness to overcome them. What we can't see when we're in the box is that the way the world appears to us is a projection, and that we are making this projection to justify ourselves in self-betrayal. We cannot see that it's not others' actions but our accusations that result in our feeling offended.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Who we are is how we are in relation to others“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„When we actively relate to people as rivals or enemies, we foster the false belief that we and they stand independent of one another. The truth is that we bind ourselves to them as if by an invisible tether, and we do so by our negative thoughts and feelings."

"Who we are is who we are with others. How they seem to us is a revelation of ourselves.“

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Fable: When we're stuck in troubled feelings we believe that all our feelings are true-- that is to say, we believe that by our emotions at that moment we are making accurate judgments about what's happening. If I'm angry with you, I'm certain that you are making me angry.

Fact: Though we truly have these feelings, they are not necessarily true feelings. More likely I'm angry because I'm misusing you, not because you are misusing me.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„If we do not suspect ourselves of having been in the wrong, our search for what is right won't be completely sincere. Sincerely asked, the question, "What is right to do?" includes the question, "Might I be in the wrong?" With either of these questions we ask the other; we pull ourselves up short and start over. This is the key: Even in asking this question, if we ask it sincerely, we begin to change in our way of being; we begin to become the kind of person capable of doing the right thing without counterfeiting it.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Still is just the right way to be. You rise in the morning to go about your day. You remember a friend who has troubles. You don't quibble with yourself about whether to call her; you don't write a reminder on your Palm Pilot or in your planner to make the call tomorrow. You just call. Simple.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Who we are is who we are with others. How they seem to us is a revelation of ourselves.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„... we dedicate ourselves to finding evidence that we're acceptable and worthwhile. Whatever our particular outward style, from self-disparaging or fawning to arrogant or angry, we live as if we were defendants in a trial. The jury is composed of all of the people whose opinions we think are important; they're the ones we've got to convince. Unsettled by our insecurities, we await their judgement.

But the jury members never come back with a final verdict. They forever hold us in suspense. Every hour or so, it seems, the foreman of the jury returns with a demand for more evidence. So we try again to win the jury's favor or at least to be found acceptable in their eyes, but nothing we can do will satisfy them once and for all.

Why? Because from their individual points of view, THEY are the ones on trial. They are as concerned to have us validate their self-image as we are to have them validate ours. WE sit on THEIR jury. Therefore what they want from us is not evidence that will establish our acceptability but evidence that will establish theirs. They can't give us their final stamp of approval because they never fell completely approved of themselves.“Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves

C. Terry Warner31

American writer

„Self-betrayal occurs when we do to another what we sense we should not do or don't do what we sense we should. Thus self-betrayal is a sort of moral self-compromise, a violation of our own personal sense of how we ought to be and what we ought to do.“

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